Sameth's Distant Not So Relative: Kirael
by Fiery Wordess
Summary: They want to bring the wall down! Oh dear, bad things could happen, but here comes Kirael and Danneth to save the day! Thank Charter for the Aels and Eths!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own the land in this story but I own a crap load of the characters.  Maybe not Sameth, Lirael, Sabriel… but I own quite a few but if you want to use them, I don't care as long as you give me some sort of credit and make them fall and die in the end of every chapter.  You can bring them back to life, heck, they're in the land of necromancers!  Life is their bloody play thing!

****

**Sameth's Second Cousin's Nephew's Cousin's Auntie's Step (somewhat adopted) daughter: Kirael**

****

We may not be directly related but I milked my relations to Sameth for all it was worth.  Most people can't remember the relationship we held because it's so distant.  This is how I remember it: SSCNCAS: Sameth Sameth Can Not Can A Snake.  Sound's jump-ropey.  

I grew up outside the Old Kingdom, which was very old from what I had heard.  So old that it was dubbed: the OLD Kingdom.  Pretty old, huh?  Yeah, well that's where Sameth lived and he was a real hot little dude from pictures I had seen.  Of course, you can't like your relatives that way and luckily, I had never met him.  He has never seen a picture of me; in fact, few have because I'm not famous or infamous.  The latter for which I am thankful. 

I go to Wyverly and am graduating this year.  It makes me want to jump up and down and be happy and all that good stuff.  I won't lie to you and say that I was a stellar student, in fact, I slacked off quite a bit because I'm a pompous whore.  I'm just kidding actually.  I had high marks in all of my subjects except for etiquette, but come on, what a stupid class.  Not to mention that Mrs. Watson had a thing against me from the day I arrived.   So what if I tripped and said a Charter mark as a curse that set the entire room ablaze?  I have a powerful voice!  Or so my speech teacher would tell me.  Well, there was the fire incident, the fact that I tripped and broke her fine china, that I ignored half of what she said (I was taking naps, okay?) and there was one rather rude doodle of her but come on, how many girls haven't doodled rude doodles in class?  Albeit, most haven't in Wyverly but… I'm just… annoyed.

My name, by the way, is Kirael.  It's a decent thing to know one's own name.  Until I was eight years old I thought my name was Darling because my mother seemed quite keen on calling me that.  The teachers complained that I didn't know my own name.  It took all of six months for me to adjust.  Kirael, Lirael, and Sabriel all sound very similar, don't they?  Maybe I'm destined for greatness too.

Haha, a great nothing.

Both Lirael and Sabriel look very similar.  Why?  Because they are half-sisters.  I look nothing like them and it's too bad for that because I could really milk my relationship with Sameth then.  I was adopted by my mother when I was found in an orphanage, nothing extraordinary.  The Southerling refugees apparently brought me over or something, but I don't look like a Southerling.  I must be a mix.  My hair is reddish-brownish-blondish.  Mix, isn't it?  Not a black hair in sight.  Gr.  My eyes are violet.  Yay!  Something original!  I tan easily but I have a few freckles on my arms, legs, face, back, and even my stomach.  Sunbathing, that got me into trouble with Mistress Fart, well, Mistress Furth, but it's all very similar.

I scribbled a note to Lila quickly, barely glancing to see if it was legible.  It was supposed to read: "Let's go to the kitchens tonight and snag some eating."  Lila grinned but wiped it quickly as Mrs. Green turned from the complicated equation she was writing on the board.  She was always, always watching me and my chums.  Stupid over-grown hawk-human.  

"Kirael!  Wipe that unseemly expression off of your face!"  I was always doing _something wrong.  Instead I smiled innocently at her.  She snorted in disgust but turned back to the board.  With only a week left of school I was less hesitant to try new and unexplored antics on the teachers.  I didn't plan on going to Wyverly College because I wanted to go into the Old and Crusty Kingdom to find my mother-figure.  She had been called away to attend some stupid royal-court thing.  Plus, I wanted to get a glimpse of my not-so-related relative of mine (Sameth *pant, pant*) All the girls in my dorm talked about him, Elise even kept a picture of him… in her bra.  If pictures could talk…._

The bell rang and we all stood abruptly.  

"Wait just a minute Kirael!"

"Why?"  I whined.  Then I stood to attention when she gave me a furious glare.  "Yes ma'am!  Right away MA'AM!"  I saluted her and she rolled her eyes, sitting down at her desk.

"We must talk."

"And that is what we are doing!"  I pursed my lips in a fashion similar to hers.

"I know you, Kirael, better than you would hope and I know that somewhere in the depths of your… mind you know how to be mature.  I've seen it and now it is time for you to call upon this more important side of you."  Mrs. Green adjusted her bun for a moment before continuing.  "Your step motherly figure, she has asked, in a rather urgent voice, that you join her in the Old Kingdom and that the sooner you set out the better."

"What?  When was this sent?"  I gaped.

"We received it just this morning.  Here we believe you have gotten enough of an education to determine your marks for this year and everyone agreed that you were well-trained.  Well, with the exception of one teacher."

Undoubtedly Mrs. Wilson.

"I will pack my things at once."  I stood and nearly knocked the chair over.  

"Wait, I have one thing for you to take."  Mrs. Green opened her drawer and pulled out a… sword?  Coolness.  "It belonged to Sabriel and she presented it to Wyverly many years ago."

"Thanks."  I grabbed the sword without much thought and darted out of the room.  I stopped and turned back.  "Thank you very much Mrs. Green.  I'm going to miss you!"  Then I fled again.  

"What're you doing there Kirael?"  Lila asked as I packed furiously.

"Packing half-wit.  I have to go to the Old and Crusty."

"What for?  Have you been kicked out?!"  Lila's eyes widened.  "I'm sorry!"

"No, no, I wasn't kicked out, my motherly figure summoned me and the teachers decided I was worthy to leave."

"You have a sword."  She commented.

"You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I've got to hand it to you, when it comes to blunt observations, you take the cake."  I finished stuffing the last of my possessions into a handbag.  "Well, I'm gonna miss you and the whole gang.  Give them hugs and kisses from me, but just slap that Meghan twirp for tattling on me.  And here's your direct hug and kiss."  *Hug**Kiss* No need to go into great detail.  

I had packed my pipes on top.  Even though I wasn't a Necromancer really I did know how to use them.  I knew which one to use when but I just mixed the names up a lot.  Come on, there were a zillion, give me a break.  There was Sanna Ranneth… or was it… Ranna and Saraneth?  And oh poo, I'll remember later.

Pulling my cloak up over my head I ran out of the dorms and down the winding staircase.  I saw some of my old chums but didn't want to waste time saying farewell.  They didn't see me because I'm… okay, my cloak was pretty damn big and covered most of my face.  Despite the closeness to summer there was a chill in the air; some of the winter wind from the Old Kingdom was blowing into the New Kingdom, rather Ancelstierre.  That was rarely a good sign when such a wind picked up.  

I knew why, unlike most people, my adopted mother had actually gone to the royal courts.  It was because they were trying to take down the wall and make Ancelstierre part of the Old Kingdom, or would Old and Crusty be part of Ancelstierre?  Would we just call it Kingdom-y Thing?  Sabriel and King Touchstone didn't like this idea, but my mum did.  Yes, I read her diary because she's very careless.  She only hides it in a locked box under a loose floorboard in the deepest chamber of our castle which is protected by extremely dangerous Charter marks!  Come on, putting it there is like asking someone to read it!  Like putting chocolate in front of a kid!  Chocolate with fire around it and knives hacking systematically down but chocolate none-the-less.  What normally insane child can resist that?

I was past the gates and going rapidly down the road.  The Wall was no more than a half-hour walk away.  

I tripped over a rock and nearly fell but by windmilling my arms wildly around my head I managed to right myself and whack somebody else in the face.  

"Ugh!"  Said that somebody else.

"Haha!"  Said me.  "Oh my gosh!"  I turned around.  "I'm so sorry!"

"You just laughed at me!"  The young man had his hand clamped over his nose.

"No, no, you misinterpret my evil laugh.  It wasn't at you but at the ground that tried to trip me."

The man arched an eyebrow at me.

"Look, I may be mad but that's not your business.  Is your nose broken?"

"I don't think so…."  He pushed.  Then he pushed harder.  It cracked really loud and he screamed.

"Okay!  That wasn't my fault!"  But I had brought my hands to my mouth.  "Are you all right?"

But he was LAUGHING at ME!

"Got you!"  His nose was perfectly fine.  

"How did you make that noise?"  I gaped, torn between admiration and loathing for the boy.

"Charter."  He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Which mark?"

"Trade secret."  He continued to wiggle his eyebrows.  Suddenly I had the urge to burn them off.

"Good day sir."  I stuck my nose in the air, imitating Mrs. Watson and walked forward but my foot caught on the hem of my cloak and I fell.  The young man managed to catch me before I touched the ground.  He had lightening quick reflexes, lucky devil.

"It is a very good day indeed when I can find a traveling mate so lovely as yourself."

"Who said I was traveling with you?"

"You did.  Maybe you didn't say it but you obviously need my help."  He smirked.

"Look, I don't need anyone's bloody help.  I'm quite all right, maybe a little clumsy, but I… okay, you've got yourself a partner."  He was laughing at me again.  "But only assuming that you're going to the Old Kingdom."

"Indeed I am!  Have you ever been there before?"

"Twice."  I admitted proudly as he walked down the road with me.

"Alone?"

"No.  Mum and about a dozen others traveled with me."  I said.

"Haha!  You should be very happy to have me," he bowed extravagantly, "as your guide."

"Why is that, O Haughty One?"  I mimicked his bow.

"Because I have traveled there naught but twelve times, all, but one on my own."  

"Oh."

"What is your name, clumsy lass?"

"You've got it."

"Clumsy Lass?"  He was shocked.

"Yup, but everyone calls me CL."

"I don't believe you, but will do as you say."  He grinned.  "My name is Crusher."

"Seriously?"

"No."

"Okay, okay, my name is Kirael."

"I'm Danneth."


	2. Rufus the Dufus

Danneth and I walked along for a long time.  Walking and walking and walking like people tend to do when they need to get somewhere.  I was surprised that he hadn't asked at all about my intentions in the Old and Crusty.  Instead we talked about my school.  He had gone to the school for lads.

"Do you smell something?"  I asked, stopping.

"What?"  He sniffed too.

"It smells like something… dead or Dead."

"Oh Charter!  You're right!"  He covered his nose.  "But ten times more foul!"

"Oh come on," came a gruff voice from a clump of bushes, "it's not that bad."

"Who's there?!"  I drew my sword.  A large brown dog came out, wagging its tail.

"My name is Rufus the Dufus Dog." 

"Um…."  I looked to Danneth.  "Is that smell of the Dead?"

"No, it's a flatus."

"You mean a fart?"  I gaped.  

"Oh yeah, one of the best I've ever procured."  Rufus wagged his tail proudly.

"Erlack, that is horrible."  I gagged.  "What did you eat?"

"Oh, you know… a few Hands… they are pretty ripe but sometimes that's all you get and when you're related distantly to one of the Charter you're bound to get some sort of weird powers."

"You're related to one of the Charter?"  Danneth marveled.

"Two, actually.  They were called the Disreputable Dog and Mogget."  Rufus panted. 

"Please close your mouth, your breath is vile."  

"And who are you?"  Rufus asked.

"I am Kirael."

"And I am Danneth."

"Cool.  Where are you two lovebirds headed?"

"The Old Kingdom.  And we're not lovebirds."  I responded.

"Come on, you know by the end one of you will be knocked up.  Probably you'll be related somehow too, just to make the plot spicy."

"Hm, sounds good.  Can we get going?  I want to do whatever it was I was summoned for."

"Okay.  I'm coming too."

"Not with your flatus-power you are not."

"It will ward of mosquitoes."  Rufus insisted.

"And will kill us."  Danneth argued.

"But that means no bug bites."

"You are annoying."  I began to walk hastily towards the Wall, which was now in view.  

"That's why you love me."  I felt a furry head rub up against my back.

I turned around to push the dog away but the dog was just sniffing the air and wagging his tail.  

"Danneth!  What are you doing?"  

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself."  Danneth grinned, running his fingers through his hair.

"Great.  Resist such impulses in the future, oh weirdo one."

(A/N: yeah, this is pretty lame considering I've taken so long.  Losing… inspiration… aiee!  I'll come back to this later.  I appreciate all the reviews.  Merci.)     


End file.
